Making sweet lemonade out of life lemons. The real reason why I am in Switzerland. It is to be part of her journey, my Mom she is more beautiful to me now then ever before. I see you, you are my light and as we have found out she is her own light as well.
Read our story below. Happy Mothers Day.
Mother. I can’t explain in words what having a beautiful mother figure looks and feels like. But I know I am living it because my mom has sacrificed her heart to create and shape my life and my brothers to the best of her abilities. “Sacrifice” is not a bad word when it comes to motherhood. I think it’s the kind that just happens out of unconditional love and is created the moment we are born into this world like some cosmic shift. Even though I am not a Mother yet, I know I will one day experience the same shift and make the same decisions my Mom made for us, just so we can live a love filled life.
As many of you have known my Mom lives in Switzerland and this is where I grew up. I left to live in Vancouver because the town here always felt small and my dreams where always of big cities and possibilities. So it felt like North America was a better match. Then. Now I know my geographical surroundings are not boundaries for dreams, a lesson I am very clearly learning in this very moment.
If you have followed me for a while you also know my Mom is my best friend. So being apart was always hard but we always made the most of quality time when we were together in one place no matter where in the world. Mike always said watching us say good bye was even hard for him as he felt our pain. I learnt unconditional love from her. My ultimate goal in life is to give and receive just that, but one of the bigger lessons this year was actually that in order to achieve that I also needed to love myself unconditionally. A major puzzle piece which I wish I learnt earlier, but I am sure the lesson came at just the right time as I will one day learn as well.
Ok so to the point, the reason why I am in Switzerland again this Spring is not just for pretty European photos, it is because my Mom got diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago. The big C word. The one you think will never hit close to home but if you share the story with friends everyone has one of their own as well.
My world literally shifted when I heard the news. My first thought, this is the last thing she deserves, a woman that has lead her life nurturing her family and friends with nothing but kindness does not deserve to feel anything but love and joy from the universe, I questioned everything I had learnt and practiced this year, thinking there was no way this was meant for her. After I cried for a good 5 days and felt angry and frustrated with this news, I received clarity somehow, through the release. My energy shifted and something beautiful happened. I knew my journey now was to become her source of unconditional love and her mentor in finding joy within herself and this situation.
I have been endulging in finding a deeper inner meaning, soul searching, if you may say. Creating space for myself through well being, meditation and all in all exploring a more healthier and balanced way of life. And now all of a sudden not only can I apply this to me but I can learn and teach and guide my mom through this time in her life with a deep confidence that we will be each others light and everything is going to be OK, if not even better.
This has been a very interesting twist in the way I look at a life blessing and balance. Saying this is a beautiful experience sounds weird to others but I am choosing for us to focus on just that. Not the symptoms of an illness. There is no place in the world I would rather be than right here by her side. The first thing I did was not research any facts on cancer but started the thought process by thinking of the emotional downsides it brings and what practices and rituals I know and can bring to the table to be part of her healing in an alternative none medical way. Purely mindful.
The purpose is now so clear. For her this is a rebirth. A shift in forever caring for us so deeply to now rediscovering who she is and what her soul loves. It’s an opportunity to shift her energies from fears and limitations that a mother has for her children to becoming a wild and free woman that I know she is because that same woman lives in me too.
My mom is more beautiful to me now then she has ever been. I know this might be a weird thing to say based on the “bad” omen of the “c” word, but seeing her lift her own boundaries and be interested in metaphysical conversations and rituals and even in different ways of cooking for our own health is so beautiful. She is interested in something other than “my” well being. (Not a negative conotation but just the reality of being a Mom). She is now also eager to learn more for her own.
Her positivity about this cancer experience doesn’t come without hiccups but for the most part she radiates this new beautiful power and sparkle which is without a single doubt coming from breaking through old routines and thoughts with a constant new routine of refocusing on joy and health.
A few things she is doing that I see that literally make my heart melt is, she is journaling her experience, she is writing gratitude lists and when I teach her things she looks me in the eyes and I know she is listening deeply to whatever podcast I am regurgitating or breathing technique I am teaching her. She does a guided meditation in the morning with the yoga wake up app I downloaded for her, she meditates every day with the One Giant Mind app and I see her applying the same deep breathing techniques when she gets anxious from time to time.
Making sweet lemonade out of life lemons is a quote that now has meaning. I get it now. There can be beauty in something that when only looked at the facts is not.
Another fact ladies. Do your self breast checks! That is how my mom found her cancer and she went to the doctor and because of that they caught it early and it might just have saved her life.
Life only hands you stuff that you can handle and that somewhere down the road any crappy experience turns into a ahaa moment. You just need to be aware and awake enough to realize it. The cycle of life is amazing when looked at from a place of love.
My past 12 months are the perfect example of how everything somehow unfolds the way it should. My heart break lead to self discovery and exploring my own self worth and self love which made me feel so good it lead me down a path to learning about who I really am which lead to such a deep interest in knowing more and becoming a more awake human. It drastically changed my life, I am more balanced and aware and a better human all together. So much so I couldn’t contain my excitement about it and during Christmas I brought this new me into my Moms life and sparked her interest in shifting certain things in her life and now, this sickness.
But because of all of these new soul connections we have made I know exactly how to show up for her and she knows exactly how to approach every single day with joy and together we are learning how to become more whole. The timing is not by accident. The timing is always right.
The past 12 months have shown me that in its truest form. Nothing is permanent and every day you can choose to be more connected to who you are and you can choose to smile first thing in the morning and those simple little things might just save a life or two a long the way even if that is just metaphorically speaking.
I know my life has been saved by getting to be here fully present with myself and with my mom and making this lemon the most beautiful story we possibly can. I love you to the moon and back Mom.